Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When she was giving me head last night it felt like there was a NASCAR pit crew working on my dick.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Haha you were definitely messed up. Let me know if you need anything
Could really use a time machine and a higher self esteem, in that order
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got a thank you card in the mail from the virgin i slept with on the camping trip. Weird or the new classy?
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
I am naked, and drinking straight gin with a flat tonic chaser. I had such greater hopes for myself as a child.
yea...tonic water is fucking gross.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
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