I decided that not getting a job after college is gods way of telling me I will make a great housewife
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
Hes sobering up now. He was just really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while he was telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together..
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I just yelled at a bunch of girl scouts for yelling "cookies" to loudly. That hungover
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Jesus christmas you are like the Martha Stewart of threeway planning
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
the bartender knew what was up when i took a sip of my drink, gagged and asked her to water down my water
All I know is I woke up with my apartment door wide open, naked, and I poured an entire bottle of Advil on my bed to sleep in.
I woke up with my shoes on but pants in the fish tank
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