Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
should I fuck that poor girl
no dude she won't be able to afford a fucking abortion
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
they're like a gay fantastic four
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Having to grow a landing strip to cover the bruises from pole dancing. Thanks for the birthday present, but next time, maybe just a gift card?
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
I found out that rock climbing and alcohol does not go together. Ask my broken arm.
Dude did I even see you at the bar. Cause I was for sure there then the next second apparently I was crying next to my Christmas tree because nobody believed in me.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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