I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Just called my mom. She definitely saw all those fb statuses so thanks for that.
Haha did she know what fisting meant?
Yeah. Which is upsetting in itself
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
Can you send me a picture of you not naked, my mom wants to see what you look like
We got back from the bar and started watching bizzare foods, which subsequently led to the consumption of large amounts of rancid lunch meat and small insects.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I paid Bumble $10 to see who liked my profile for a month. Cheap, easy dick. It's all about the economics, yo.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
Morning! Got your 3am VM to remind you to get up for spin class and also confirm you were not murdered by the sketchy guy at brunch yesterday. So this is your literal and metaphorical wake up call.
if you want the landscaping job, the uniform is a speedo. no exceptions.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize