i feel rough
just turned on the light, there is blood EVERYWHERE.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
I'm pretty sure he's lost all respect for me. it probably happened somewhere around the time i had officially slept with every single one of his friends..
I woke up with her little sister yelling "she's dead !!" from the bathroom doorway.
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Drunk enough that you donated $50 to taco bell, because they serve a great purpose.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
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