you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
I'm pretty sure he jizzed in his pants, and no it wasn't even half as funny as that song.
what day is it and did you see me today?
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Please. That's just a patriotism boner. I watched Michael phelps win another medal and had to change my underwear.
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
On your day off do you wanna get wine drunk and take a few episodes of Jerry Springer way too seriously with me?
Also, for real, though? Did we even have sex or were we just jumping on the bed drunk and naked...because with me that's actually a possibility.
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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