so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I just counted my steps so I know when you start looking for you on my way back from the bathroom
You know how us drunks love counting steps
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
Be still, my beating vagina.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
How can you tell that you're blacked out ?
You can feel it in your nipples.
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
