I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
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i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
I envy you so much. I get girls who pee on my floor and you get girls who leave in the middle of the night
Pretty sure I went to the bar in my bathing suit, sweat pants, and high heels.
I just think that if you're going to run around naked outside, a feather boa should be involved. Half for the flair and half for an emergency cover.
My attempts to make you laugh have failed exceedingly. Naked snap chats it is
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For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
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