He had some BAD nuttage
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
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If you know any fat girls who would pay me for sex, I am low on money and morals right now
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
I told them I got hit by a car again and now im pretty sure they think im being abused but there was no way in hell the truth was going to fly. Employed people aren't supposed to break their faces in piggy back ride accidents.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
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we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
The bartender just legitimately thanked me for breaking the cycle of speed metal by playing mmmbop.
i don't think that has ever happened before in the history of man
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Can you rollerblade?
Honestly, I was high and picturing us roller blading together. I wanted to see if I could make my dreams a reality.
Ugh, once again I had to block the view of him peeing off the hotel bar balcony, I earned those free drinks!