does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
All I want for christmas is my sobriety back.
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Dude how did you get resin on my keyboard?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
I seriously just drove by a man walking down the street wearing hospital scrubs, an 80s track jacket, gold necklace and carrying a flute.
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Update: my mom just told someone to shut up and suck her dick
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