I know, he also has a fancy car to make up for his tiny penis
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
where'd the toddler underneathe the beer pong table come from?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
the only fun thing to do here is drink beer and make mistakes. i feel like im in college again
Randomize