Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I like to think it a success when the cops are called
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
Sometimes I think I have so much sex with you to be sure you're actually straight.
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
Just found an unopened tied g of coke on the floor in her room... she thinks the maintenance guy dropped it earlier today. This takes the cake for sketchiest apartment.
Copy that. Decided to shower with a beer in a glass bottle. Gotta stop the bleeding first. Be there is 20
I tried to stop that, but then I pulled the leaves out of my panties and went to sleep.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
Randomize
