Just took my morning after pill in the library
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
How are you going to be there by 9am?
Relax I always go to these conferences hung over
You say that like it's a positive quality
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
My sex life is driven by spite and alcohol
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
I successfully cockblocked 5 people in one night. I wasnt getting any, why should they.
Let me set the mood for you. Do you remember Britney Spears in her Hit Me Baby One More Time era? Well I just fucked this college girl I shit you not her name is Persephone and she looks exactly like Britney Spears back when she was hot. I might be in love.
Randomize
