She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
There are topless girls riding the lawn flamingos. I win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
It's astonishing how many Ludacris lyrics you know
Randomize