do you have any idea why i woke up naked spooning my toaster?
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sat up and said "i'm the worst kind of roommate, the drunk kind"
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Was so close to hoppin on it but then I realize it's not a dick and I needed to keep walking. Primal instincts.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
yeah we're all naked, and I think we just shaved Chad.
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