even in the morning, she still thinks my british accent is real.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
happy find a boyfriend by next Valentines Day. Its like a new years resolution but depressing
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
That's the kind of activity you can only get away with by wearing a lion codpiece
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
I am drunk and aggressive about the olympixs
It's spelled Olympics
you stood in front of the mirror for 20 minutes and finally said, "he can hear everything i'm saying inside my head. we need to leave." now try and tell me there is no such thing as too high.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
