So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came out of the bathroom, said "I'M DRUNK BUT I REMEMBERED TO WASH MY HANDS!" and then insisted that she smell them.
why does my status of facebook already read REHAB 2011
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
I knew it was going to be a good night when my mom said "Have fun, be safe...wait, do you need any weed for tonight?"
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
Leave it to me to pull up my boyfriend’s grandfather’s obituary just to find out the name of his sister.
There's something empowering about being at dinner and sitting across the table from two men you've blown.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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