Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Oh yea... In other news I've decided to get an external hard drive and start getting music from all the guys I'm fucking... Do you think a terabyte would be enough storage space?
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
Look,the guy had sex w/a Canadian prison guard on the deck of a cruise ship,he could blow any second.
Oh no. Did you guys fuck on my pull out couch?
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
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