on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
the real housewives reunion is on...i wanna see if danielle can look any more surprised than the facelift allows
i wanna see dina punch her face back to normal
I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Iranian Rapper, camaroonian basketball player, mexican i forget and indian doctor....this one looks the best on paper.
He was like a foghorn with a huge penis.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
What can i say, i'm an artist. I think deep thoughts. In between the homoerotica and pterodactyl noises
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I have 2 voicemails from u last night. one of them is just 5 min of u saying "doodling"...
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
I shouldn't be allowed to be in america for NYE... or any major holiday for that matter
Eventually I will start sleeping with people who actually want to hangout with me the next day... But not today
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