i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
theyre doing shots to celebrate her boob jobs anniversary.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
At one point in time, he cried and said I didn't appreciate him.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
Don't forget: you only show your tits for the good beads. Be judicious.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
We need to borrow someone's dog. Just so we can non-creepily go to PetSmart and watch all the other dogs take photos with Santa
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Randomize
