I just found 51 cents in my bed. Did you leave me a tip?
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
She insisted on fucking on the futon mattress on the floor, answered the phone call from her boyfriend who was on his way to pick her up, and then had the audacity to ask if I was clean
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Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
we bought a duck. we're keeping him in our dorm room. don't ever try to tell me you've had a better freshman year than me.
He's coming over for beer and a movie, but I just don't know if he's interested.
Pathetic and sad. I should come over there and fuck both of you just to get the ball rolling.
As far as figuring life out your talking to a guy that's alternating text messages between his baby mama and a drunk bitch I met tailgating. My best advice is don't worry about shit out of your control and always and I really mean ALWAYS wear a condom.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
He did a line of coke off my stomach then flipped me over and smacked my ass. Then, while he was talking dirty to me, he told me he wanted to hire someone to clean my room. And that's when he lost his boner. Life is so hard.
mid-october of freshman year. goals have shifted from "no more guys on my floor" to "all the guys on my floor."
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