She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Either I'm deep cleaning my apartment out of severe academic procrastination or I'm subconsciously nesting and need to take a pregnancy test.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
They just built a gym in the same parking lot as my favorite bar. Drunk me is gonna be so excited.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
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