im orety awesome arent i? relly i know i am
i would punch a child for taco bell
I got so high last night I started crying because i couldn't stop thinking about how scary space is
me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
First you say "it can't get any worse" and the next thing you know you've shat yourself on Christmas Eve.
I'm so stoned I just sat here for like at least 45 min thinking about how I would get some jack in the box tacos if only I knew where my wallet was and then I kind of blinked and finally noticed I had literally been staring at my wallet the ENTIRE fucking time
Come share oat with me in your robe
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Sometimes I just take my boobs out of my shirt so they can get some fresh air
I did not marry a roomba.
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