Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
Ugh. This is the type of hangover that all other hangovers want to grow up to be.
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
Totally forgot Mike has only one ball. Is it sad I'm excited to see it? Or shall I say the lack of it?
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
Are you doing trivia tonite? Also sorry I peed on you.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
