she was so not down for the gang bang
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
You ran full speed into the glass door with your Patron and yelled "FEEL THE RHYTHM, FEEL THE RHYME"
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
