Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Shaun got a portable breathalyzer for christmas so now we can tell who the biggest pussy is at the end of the night.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
I don't need you anyway! I have puppies and booze!
I don't know what his name was or what he looked like, but I remember him rocking me to sleep with his cock
I'm sobbing to NWA
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
Have u seen my vagina and my gorilla costume? Im in need of it.
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