This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
she trying to cartwheel up the stairs... not going so well
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
Fastest way to get judgmental looks on a Sunday morning: wear sunglasses inside carrying a case of beer and thin mints at the grocery store. May or may not have ran into the glass door.
Gotta love Minnesota
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
Randomize
