You gave me the wrong number last night so I texted someone else something I definitely shouldn't have.
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
oh my god. the driver of our party bus just said "no drugs unless you're sharin," my confidence in him is not high at the moment
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
I thought he put a fake swan in my yard, but no, he put a real life swan in my yard
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
Naked. naked and bneed help.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
Yes I went home with her last night. I woke up this morning and ran into my boss on the way to the bathroom. Monday is going to suck at work.
Hot guy next to me on the flight lives near my grandparents. There’s a 100% chance I end up drunk and naked in his hot tub
Happy Thanksgiving to me!!!
Randomize
