a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
Im otw to class. I was at the Library. Just past three girls with a bottle of tequila playing dizzy bat.
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
If I win the lottery I'm going to hire someone to skywrite "FUCKTARD" over his house. That much anger.
Don't worry, I'm taking the best gay radar in the World, my sister's boobs. All guy who is not looking at them, it's fair play for us.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
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