mornings like this make me wish i was morman.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
My mom just told me that after i turned eight i stopped growing mentally and emotionally
just stared at ed norton's ass for 26 miles. if there was ever an incentive to run a marathon, that was it. my life is perfect.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
He cooked me dinner. I showed my appreciation by showing up shithoused and breaking a bottle of steak sauce on his floor.
Can we get blazed at 9:06 on sunday and reenact the moment of my birth?
I get to be your mom.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Didn't know hookah bars could end badly. I feel for her hair
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
Sometimes you've gotta crawl to stay concious
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Randomize
