Dude, the girl next to me just farted. Worst part, it smells like astroglide
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
there were like 150 questions AFTER the application. you'd think for a store that has dick molding kits it'd be a joke
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
THERE WAS A HANDPRINT OF BLOOD ON HIS SHOULDER
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I really want to lead this Amish guy into temptation
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
He sent me a dick pic from a port-o-potty in Boston. If that's not love Idk what is.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
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