Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
Getting dressed and listening to the song Buffalo Bill danced to in Silence of the Lambs. I'm a perfect psych major.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
