It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
My poor mother should have just stuffed me back up her vagina when she had the chance.
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ive fucked up. im like a feral dog rabidly chasing an infrequent dream amidst a cataclysm of disaster
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
I'm trying to get laid this Halloween, not inspire the next season of AHS
how am i in montreal? thats like a 3 hour train ride. i remember nothing.
Did you pee in the oven last night??
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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