I met the friendliest cop last night
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
He cant even get with danielle. Thats like striking out in t-ball
I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
There are rocks in my bed. And dirt all over my face. Explain?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
I ripped my favorite bra in half last night while I was undressing in a drunken rage.
What was the rage all about?
He wouldn't stop to let me get McDonald's french fries.
After 3 parties, all of them busted, and 4 field sobriety tests, I AM the cop whisperer
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
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