Black lace...the rest is up to ur imagination
i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
The cop and I then joined forces to get you up off the sidewalk.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
There's some muscle relaxers in my bedside table. Sorry if my dildo is in the bathroom.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
There's times when I just want to bottle my farts for later they're so insane.
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
Randomize
