I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
Three of the best words ever! Cocaine. Research. Study.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
FYI If I die in my sleep it is because I drank a bottle of coke from 1986. I needed a mixer
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
On the train at 650am after a night of clubbing and running away from a new zealander who was buying us beers but also licking windows
I'm not sure why, but my salad smells like a Big Mac. Or maybe that's just the smell of yesterday's, seeping through my skin.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
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