I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
she just gave her compliments to the chief, at dennys
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I have no idea. Next thing I know we're all down on one knee saying the pledge of allegiance and then singing I'm Proud to be an American. Then Trevor ate pizza off the sidewalk.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
