My feet smell like cheese. Makes me hungry.
not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
We just made mixed drinks in the bathroom of burger king. This is sad.
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
i just remember explaining why my socks were better than everyone elses.
I think my hopes are too high for this one. The only other bachelorette party I've been to I was felt up by a Chippendale's dancer and smoked a joint with the party bus driver.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
You know, having a conversation evolve from attractive men to roommate orgies would be weird with anyone else, but you get me.
I just did a jell-o shot with my grandmother. I can die now..
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Then I did coke with my taxi driver where he then ended up paying me for the drive. You should try being a girl sometime it's super sick.
Crying while I'm pooping. I think this is rock bottom
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