i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
All i have left of him are the magnum X-Large condoms he left in my room, knowing full well that no other guy I hook up with will be able to fill his shoes. He taunts me.
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
Would it be tacky of me to tell the two girls I just found out he's been sleeping with on the side that I've been having gay sex with him all semester?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
Just don't let me get too drunk. At one point I pulled out my dick and pissed at that party. Like on the wall.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
