i've been throwing up a lot lately. my guess is hangover but who knows morning sickness is always an option
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
He wins the giant teddy bear for getting the neuva ring on the dick
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
HE'S FUCKING 19 YEARS OLD, HE CAN'T EVEN GET INTO A BAR WITH ME, WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'LL LET HIM IN MY PANTS?!
Randomize
