and you said cock pushups were impossible
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
A pack of naked men just sprinted down the street screaming in German. It's 5 AM.
The guy at the Apple store said the warranty does NOT cover getting cum out of the keyboard. I can't believe I believed you.
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
My nerves will need dicks later so.. I'll call you
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
Oh, did your mom say anything else about my butt?
Randomize
