k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
I felt like I was in a real life creepy Myspace message. "girl u cute" ... "girl u got a really nice smile"
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I AM AT THE LOUNGE WHERE THEY FILMED THE LAP DANCE IN SHOWGIRLS....IT IS AMAZING
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I'm gonna invite every single tinder date I've had to my birthday. Let them fight, battle Royale style. The winner gets to fuck me. \n\nBest. Birthday. Ever
Randomize
