i had a dream last night that you and i organized a foursome. swear to god
ps i'll be in miami in early july. this text has no relation to the last one
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
did we hook up?
no, because you kept repeating "itty bitty titties" when i took off my shirt
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
What's that word that means bigger and smaller and bigger and smaller, again?
Goddamn it, Jaime, it's 4am. Throbbing. The word is throbbing.
I will no longer accept being cock blocked in my own bed.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Oh my god, are you sexting me while watching the Democratic debate.
100%
Now I'll never know if it was me that got you worked up, or Bernie Sanders' social policies.
Must be why he thought choking was foreplay. Like WTF? No.
He just ate a tooth whitening strip...
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
Randomize
