I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
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He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
I had to wash my hair with conditioner because my sister got hammered and gave the dog a 3am sprinkler bath with my shampoo.
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Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I made soup. Now I'm having post soup making wine. I had pre soup making wine also.
Why is there an inflatable flamingo in the backseat of my car?
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I just found an entire bag of French fries under the seat of my car labeled "For emergency use only" drunk me is always planning ahead.
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