There's a group of australian girls next to me. can't take them seriously. think they are going to turn into mr g
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
This is a whole new generation of premature ejaculators
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
UVE SEEN MY TITS OKAY STOP CRYING
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
No reason. My tongue went numb after one shot. I may die tonight
Randomize
