Why would he get rid of a girl with no gag reflex? I don't get it.
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
how did i get to the car and why are my shoes broken
Come outside. The vendor wants to go out strong tonight! Russian hooker interviews. Don't ask. We leave in 3 minutes.
i looked at my phone & had a message that said "tell your friend she needs to clean my livingroom, i dont appreciate her trying to turn it into a bubblebath." I give you probs.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
She was wearing some slutty variation of a toga and giving the entire bus a pep talk on why we should black out tonight...I'M IN LOVE AND I DON'T CARE WHO KNOWS IT!
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
Randomize
