you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
After the nose/jizz incident i think our relationship can handle anything.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Haha it's harder than you'd think to come up with ways to turn your penis into a Christmas drawing
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
i woke up with a shamrock tattoo on my wrist and a fat bruise on my hipbone. please tell me its not real.
i feel like i got punched in the face....
you did....
Randomize
