Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
I have demons in me.
I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
It must be a full moon weekend. All of my weird booty calls are coming out of the woodwork. I spent 40 minutes on the phone last night telling one why he is so creepy.
And then the lady sheeps would bring me the finest grass to eat cuz im the sheep king and id have sexy smooth sheep fur
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I SMOKED SO MUCH I SKIPPED A DAY.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
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