shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
and before you know it i was laying next to him at 2 in the morning with penis and sadness on my breath.
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Broke up w/ my married coworker...work is gonna get weird.
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
My sister was crawling her way home and kept asking us to carry her,then she insisted on grabbing at our ankles til she passed out, how was your night?
When did it become appropriate to call your mother the morning after? While still naked in bed? WHEN?!
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
Randomize
