Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
I'm sorry that throwing up fish and Jamaican Rum in the back of your dad's car ruined our friendship
You're just a heartbreaker with a knitting problem
for once I'd like a one night stand where I don't meet the guys mom or wife in the morning
Fuck you and your fucking taquito's.
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