Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
you're in nursing school, now tell me what to do about a burned clit.
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
I feel like we should actually go to church one of these days to thank god for saving us from herpes and babies.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
He stopped mid-fuck to explain his choice in pillows. HE WAS STILL IN ME!
...hi
YOU SHOULD BE ASHAMED OF YOURSELF
Ok cool I was afraid you'd never speak to me again. I can work with this.
I've never been so excited to be bleeding from my vagina.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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