You're so nebulous sometimes
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
where are you?
Hypothermia
new plan: i think the keg will fit in my purse.
The amount of my urine my roommate has consumed after I found out he's been eating my food almost offsets how angry I am
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
Randomize
