Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I bought a dress specifically for face plant durability... this is how serious I am about my drunk status this weekend
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
Yay for living on the edge. I'm trying this new thing where I stop mom-arming people and promote bad decisions. It's working quite well.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Math equation of the day: 4 waffles + 1 bowl of weed = 1 terrific nap
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I'm making myself the patron saint of bisexuality
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Randomize
