I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I booty texted him nothing but three exclamation points at 3:05am and he was in my bed 17 minutes later, lest you think punctuation is not important.
Lol, maybe a little bit. I don't know. I don't keep a super keen memory log of dicks honestly.
I took out a life ins. policy Thursday. It's okay I can die in Nashville now.
He is saved in her phone as Sir. Mindfuck <3/ vag cleaner of course I need to meet him.
Randomize
