idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
he started fingering my stomach rolls instead of my vag... am i really that fat?
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
So the bros are yelling at another bro to get that dildo off the roof. And there is indeed a dildo looking object on the roof.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
Randomize
