idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
it's a little hard to watch the basketball games with my family considering they keep cheering for the guy that i had a one night stand with...
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Randomize
