question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
Well, he sent me "techno kitty adventure" about 10 minutes ago. So, he could be anywhere.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
All I need is the Internet and a place to drink.
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.
Why the hell did you invite him? He's gonna bring two more inches of dick and zero fun.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
I gave my girlfriend a ring to celebrate our anniversary, she thought It was an engagement ring. Now im getting married and I don't know what to do.
Randomize
