the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
can we please take bets on how much therapy you'll need in the future?
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
hi, I love you... and I'm sorry your floor is covered in popcorn, your cabinet is broken, all your alcohol is gone, you're 80 dollars poorer, everything in your bedside table is soaked in beer, austin slept in your bed in those disgusting underwear, I made out with your toilet seat, and for talking to your mom with a four loko in my hand
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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