I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
It's like God shit irony all over that family
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
after sex he fell asleep with his water bottle in one hand and his dick in the other at 6pm. I'm a winner.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
You had sex with a kid to spare him the shame of being a virgin. Evidence is on my side.
You were crying hysterically
So that's why my heels were in the oven...
Don't forget my pants whenever you come over, otherwise we can't get in.
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